shape your life

Design the Life You Want

"Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. It is the cure-all…’What would excite me?’

So often we limit our own happiness or excitement by sticking to convention.   the synonym to happiness is excitement and the opposite of excitement is boredom. So many of us are bored, trudging through our best years in anticipation of the elusive retirement, failing to recognize that retirement is rarely as fulfilling as desired and an extended life sentence is not a promise. Designing a lifestyle NOW that serves you NOW should be the ultimate goal.

Here are a couple ways I↞ suggests we can do that:

1. Invest in self-care. “By working only when you are most effective, life is both more productive and more enjoyable.”
2. Less is more. “Focus on being productive instead of busy.”
3. The time is now. “The Timing is never right, if it’s important to you and you want to do it ‘eventually’, just do it and correct course along the way.”
4. Ask for forgiveness, not permission. “Get good at being a troublemaker and saying sorry when you really screw up.”
5. Play up your strengths. “Focus on better use of your best weapons instead of constant repair.”
6. Do what you want. “…Opposed to what you feel obligated to do”.
7. Time is money. Focus on relative income, which accounts for time and dollar. Rather than absolute income that focuses only on the dollar amount.

HAPPINESS

HAPPINESS is one of the most sought-after goals in life, yet for many it seems to be elusive. It’s easy to delude ourselves into thinking, “When I just have that nice house and new car, then I can be happy.” But in reality, happiness is available to all of us, right now. A big house or a new car won’t actually make you happier; it’s the simple joys in life that bring true happiness. Read on to learn 15 simple ways that you can start living a happier life today.

1. Do What You Love
If your passion is playing soccer, writing poems, or teaching children how to swim, make time to do it. You’ll find that when you’re doing what you love, you’re filled with joy. How much better does that sound than forcing yourself do something you don’t like?

2. Help Others
Sometimes after we’ve achieved our own personal goals, we still feel empty inside because we haven’t made a meaningful contribution to someone else’s life. When we volunteer or help others, it feels good to just be of service to someone else. The impact we make feels fulfilling and is a big potential source for our own happiness.

3. Be Thankful
When you think of all the things that you have to be grateful for, you realize how blessed you already are. Without even realizing it, we take our basic necessities for granted — a roof over your head and plenty of food to eat. By appreciating the things that you already have, you’ll begin to feel happier in your life.

4. Share With Others
When we share our thoughts, our time, and our abilities with others we feel better for it. A life lived without sharing can become lonely. When you share with others, they’ll feel great towards you and help you to feel more joy in your own life.

5. Smile More
Practice smiling more and see how it affects you internally, as well as those around you. You can always afford to give a smile. Smiling can make you happier — even if you have to force it, you’ll still feel better.

6. Exercise
When was the last time you went to the gym or worked out? Exercise reduces stress andreleases endorphins, also known as a “runner’s high.” Playing sports is a fun way to exercise as well, whether it’s kicking around a soccer ball or shooting hoops.

7. Seek Out a Life Coach
A life coach will help you to evaluate your life and why you’re not feeling happy in it. Maybe you’re holding limiting beliefs or you have an emotional block without realizing it. By speaking to a life coach, you can uncover why you’re actually unhappy and what you can do to feel better.

8. Find Ways to Manage Stress
Don’t let stress rob you of your birthright to be happy. You deserve to be happy, and it wouldn’t be right to let stress get in the way. Practices such as meditation can help you to manage stress better and feel great.

9. Eat Healthy
It’s much more challenging to feel truly happy when you’re sick. But when you eat right, you feel better both physically and mentally. And you’ll avoid that guilty feeling that you just pigged out on junk food.

10. Spend Time With Your Loved Ones
There’s no replacement for spending quality time with your loved ones. We’re social beings, even if you’re an introvert or a loner. People love spending time with their friends and family for good conversation, bonding, and some laughs. Life’s too short to live it completely alone.

11. Dump Negative Thinking
You already know that negative thinking will bring you down. So how do you stop it? Become more aware of it and try replacing your negative thoughts with some positive ones. Spend less time with negative people and more time with positive people.

12. Give More Gifts
You don’t have to give expensive gifts; sometimes a poem, a quick note, or a thoughtful email will brighten someone else’s day, and yours. Share what you can give to all the wonderful people in your life.

13. Forgive and Forget
Holding a grudge will harm you more than the person you’re holding it against. Ask yourself, “What would it take for me to let go of the past?” and notice how you feel when you let go of your anger for a few seconds. Focus instead on a bright future and you’ll feel better for it.

14. Take a Walk in Nature
Spending time out in nature can be very refreshing and renewing, especially when you’re living in an artificial, manmade world. Taking a walk in your local woods or park and getting some fresh air can allow you to appreciate the beauty of the natural world.

15. Be Yourself
As Steve Jobs said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” Accept who you are, just be yourself, and you’ll feel a world of difference.

Reason for broken marriages

Discussions about marriage, divorce, gender equality, and homosexuality are often filled with ugly rhetoric, while the opinions of knowledgeable experts are simply ignored. Not surprisingly, India’s rising divorce rates are routinely blamed on modernization, the break from our past, and the embrace of so-called ‘western’ values.

However, there’s nothing western about divorce, as marrying for life was also a western tradition that only began to suffer with urbanization, changing social dynamics following the World Wars, and the rise of advertising and consumerist culture.
Today, corporate culture with its emphasis on career advancement, productivity, and profits, has increased the stress on marriages, not just in the west, but here in India too. So, instead of playing the blame game, let’s hear what the experts have to say.

Causes For Rising Divorce Rates In India

According to some psychologists, divorce rates in India have increased by 100 percent in just 5 years! This figure may seem exaggerated, but reports suggest that they may be underplayed instead, as some cities like Kolkata witnessed a 350 percent increase in divorces from 2003 to 2014.
With our great cultural and social diversity, the causes of divorce in India are not easy to pinpoint, but marriage counselors and psychologists who treat couples have a unique insight into this modern problem.

Changed Priorities

“Most urbanites put their careers and earning power ahead of everything else, often neglecting personal relationships and family, as well as their own health and wellbeing”
Over the past two decades, there has been a dramatic change in the lifestyles and priorities of young adults because of rapid urbanization and overpopulation, corresponding with globalization and the spread of corporate work culture. As a result, most city dwellers face tremendous pressure to perform, competing for scarce resources and employment opportunities from an early age.

Not surprisingly, most urbanites put their careers and earning power ahead of everything else, often neglecting personal relationships and family, as well as their own health and wellbeing. Even in marriages where couples put their relationship first, they often struggle to make time for each other and as anyone will tell you, relationships take a lot of work.

Nuclear Families

“Without extended families, couples are more dependent on each other for social & emotional interaction, but men & women have significant differences in both requirements, often leading to conflict & disillusionment”
This is another markedly urban phenomenon, as most households in cities are occupied by nuclear families. Monetary constraints, along with the need for privacy and personal space make nuclear families the obvious choice, but this does have a downside.
Social bonding and emotional fulfillment was in the past satisfied primarily by extended family, and this leaves a clear void in modern nuclear families, as most couples spend hours at work and have little time to connect.
Moreover, couples are now more dependent on each other for social and emotional interaction, but men and women have significant differences in both social and emotional requirements. This often leads to dissatisfaction and conflict if the partners are not able to find a middle ground.

Gender Equality

“Women who are financially secure, are less dependent on their husbands & therefore less subservient, which is a problem for dominating or chauvinistic men – financial independence also makes easier for women to walk out of bad or abusive relationships”
To be honest, the world and notably India, are still a great distance away from true gender equality, but women certainly enjoy greater financial and psychological independence than ever before. According to some psychologists, this positive development may also have an undesirable outcome.